A Play by Eddie R.

CHARACTERS:

SWIPER a Bald Eagle, Age 18 years old SNOOPY a Pit, Age 35 years old

SETTING: A Farm in California
TIME:  
AT RISE: SWIPER is alone on stage.


SWIPER
Man, I ain’t seen Snoopy da Pit all day.  I wonder what bra up to?  Let me take a stroll over his way and see what bra up too.  I wonder why he’s so protective of those lambs?  Him and Pops must have had some kind of feud over them lambs.  Once I overheard the lambs talking and they said an eagle is not gold and precious, but crap on the green grass. Then they burst into laughter.   But me and Pops ain’t never talked down on lambs; we ain’t got nothing against them.  In fact, we love lambs.  Nothing taste better than a tender lamb.  When I stop by Snoopy’s place, I think I’ll ask him for a lamb so I can always remember my father.

(SWIPER leaves.  SNOOPY enters)

SNOOPY
I haven’t seen Swiper the golden eagle all day.  I wonder where he’s at he would’ve been slid thru to see what’s poppin’ around this way.  I remember his father, may he rest in peace, even though we didn’t care much for each other, tricked me out a lamb once and man, did the farmer beat the flea’s off me then.  That eagle sure was a manipulative bird. Then had the nerves to ask me for another lamb. I should’ve tore his leg off, but somehow he retrieved another one.  I still have the mark from that beatin’.  Man, dude was slicker than Mexican hair grease.  I wonder if Swiper would try and play me like that.

(SWIPER sneaks up on SNOOPY)

SNOOPY
Damn, bra you had me spooked for a second.  I thought you where one of those foxes or something, gettin’ pretty sneaky there kind of sly like your fa…father.

SWIPER
What chu mean?

SNOOPY
Ahh… nothin’ important bra.

SWIPER
What’s wrong with you, dawg?   Actin’ kind of funny, lookin’ like you worried about something, yo.

SNOOPY
Na, man it’s that farmer he talkin’ ‘bout putting all those lambs in the barn to keep them away from getting’ snatched up by foxies and stuff – your father even use to swipe them sometimes.  I still got bruises from the last time.  The old farmer scrape me thanks to your Pops.  If he takes the lambs into the barn, he won’t have any need fo’ me.

SWIPER
What chu gotta down talk my Pops?  I thought we was smooth bra.  I feel you about bein’ hot that the farmer’s about to move and you think he gone kick you out or somethin’, but chill out dawg, be cool.

SNOOPY
Yeah, I know bra, we straight.

SWIPER
Yeah, dawg, cause you was on for a minute, I thought I was gonna have to wipe you down, naw, I am just messin’ round bra.

SNOOPY
So what made you slide thru this late”

SWIPER
Ahh…I was gonna ask you about aaa…la..la…..lamb bra.

SNOOPY
So all this time you was just like ya Pops tryna get over, huh bra? I thought we was way smoother then that, dawg.

SWIPER
Awww. That’s how you get at Bra?  It’s coo.  It’s all coo like coconut milk, I was just gonna ask you for one so I can have something’ to remember my Pops by.  I was gonna eat a lamb, don’t get me wrong but I woulda kept a bone or something to keep the memory of Pops and how he use to bring lambs home on those special days; but chu dissin’ me and my Pops, grimy dawg, grimy.

SNOOPY
Well, the farmers gonna be takin’ those lambs in the barn anytime now and I don’t plan on none of them comin’ up missin’.  That human gonna for surely kill me if another one of those things come up missin’.  I am gonna hang.  He probably won’t give me away or even ban me from the farm, but if one of those lambs come up missing he surely will.

SWIPER
We was posta be tight but aight, I see how you actin’ dawg.

SNOOPY
Come on bra, you want me to get hurt even worse killed over a lamb?

SWIPER
I mean, if I don’t get that lamb tonight I’ll never have another chance to get another.  Why you can’t just think about somebody else for once?  Come on now man, for once stop thinkin’ ‘bout the consequences and do somethin’ for your friend.  If I don’t get this lamb, how will I have something to remember my Pops by, dawg? You out of anybody should know what I am talkn’ bout.  If there was anyway you could have kept something that resembled your family before they left, you would have did anything to get it; and if I could have helped you, you know I would’ve, even if it meant my life because you my main man, dawg.

SNOOPY
Bra, I know how you feel dawg.  I miss my fam, like dogs in animal hell miss water. I can feel your pain man but I am sayin’ if I do, do this then what will happen to me will be cruel consequences or death, then you gonna have to live with that on your chest for the rest of ya life, dawg.  I would’ve been ran away to search for my fam but I have everything I want here and you became like a brother during the process, so I don’t wanna mess all that up bra, you feel?

SWIPER
Dawg, I am getting’ tired of all this chit-chat.  Are you gonna help me or what?  You say we’re like brother’s, well then come thru fa a brotha.

SNOOPY
I told you once. I won’t tell you again n….

SWIPER
Aight, I guess I do it myself.  Out my way brother.

SNOOPY
Swiper, nooo….

(Swiper takes off, claws open wide.  Snoopy takes like he’s about to attack)

SNOOPY
Don’t do it, look behind you

(As soon as Swiper about to grab the lamb, the farmer comes with a sawed-off shotgun and fires 3 shots.  Swiper falls to the ground turns around and see’s Snoopy on the ground next to him)

SWIPER
Well at least I’ll be with my father in heaven

SNOOPY
And I’ll be there with my brother.

(The lambs escape into the fields)

THE END

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