Dogs (2008)

 

A Play by Neal S.

 

CHARACTERS:

 

 

SETTING:

SKEETS, a German Shepherd, male, 4 years old. DEEBOE, a Pitbull, male, 6 years old.

 

DEEBOE, a Pitbull, male, 6 years old

 

 

 

TIME:

7:00pm Hot August Night

 

 

AT RISE:

On the grass. SKEETS is with his girlfriend Jackie and his sister Paulina the poodle. He is dropping off Jackie when DEEBOE approaches them.

 

 

 

DEEBOE

Ayo, Sucka!  What you doin wit ma baby sister?!?!

 

SKEETS

Umm, hey, Deeboe.  How you doin?  Don’t you remember?  I been with you sister for a couple of months now.

 

DEEBOE

What the Dog Food!  You better be koo wit that before I bite your tail off!  Ooooweee, who’s this li’l mama ryt hurr?

 

SKEETS

That’s my sister, man.  She’s just a poodle, as you can tell

 

DEEBOE

Hmmm, she sho is a poodle.  But like I was sayin’ back off Jackie before I bust yo tail bone fo’real!

 

SKEETS

Hey pal, kool it will ya?  I’m really in luv wit you sister and we’ve been planning on living together.  Is that okay wit you?

 

DEEBOE

Hell Nah!  Ask me another question like that, you’ll be eatin’ Puppychow through your wet snotty nose!

 

SKEETS

Come on bro, I don’t want no trouble.  I’m just saying dude, I really luv Jackie.  I never had feelings for a dog like I got for Jackie.

 

DEEBOE

Oh, that’s soooo cute. I don’t give a damn!  She’s coming with me to the Bay at the end of the week.

 

SKEETS

Man, you’re so mean.  I hate you from the bottom of my heart.  Why can’t you just accept the fact that your sister wants to be with me?

 

DEEBOE

Cuz you a sucka and I don’t let no suckas near my family.  The only reason you went out with my sister is cuz she came to me cryin, beggin me not to beat yo butt.  And now this li’l puppy love thing y’all got going on, is going to be over.  We gone move to the Bay and’ I’m gonna start my own family there.

 

SKEETS

But what about Jackie?  What’s she gonna do out there?  Does she even wanna move?

 

DEEBOE

It don’t matter.  She comin wit me regardless.  You just gotta man up and sav it out.

 

SKEETS

No DeeBoe, you’re just going to have to sav it out.  She’s staying with me.  She told me herself.  She wants to live with me and you’re just scared she’ll forget bout you.  Don’t worry man, I’ll take good care of her.

 

DEEBOE

Wow, you sound like a poodle.  She really told you that?  She never talks to me about her feelings.  It must be a sucka thing.

 

SKEETS

Nah man, she tells me a lot of things, like how you cry when a girl turns you down, or how she feels sorry for you.  So she asks her friends to go out with you, but they all scared of you.

 

DEEBOE

Ain’t no females scared of me.  They just can’t handle Big Daddy DeeBoe.

 

SKEETS

Then how come you don’t got a family like you want?

 

DEEBOE

Cuz man!  I don’t know. Every time I go out with a girl they never like me I mean, I get their name and doghouse spot.  Then when we get to know each other , they all of a sudden move or they got a boyfriend or something.

 

SKEETS

Well, my oversized pitbull friend, it seems like someone needs some help with the ladies.

 

DEEBOE

What you know about Ladies?

 

SKEETS

I got yo sister, don’t I?

 

DEEBOE

Shut up!  Don’t ever say that.  But chea, that’s true.

 

SKEETS

I could help you out if you want, you know.

 

DEEBOE

How is you gonna help me?

 

SKEETS

I’ll lace you up with game and you’ll pull any broad you want, guaranteed.  But there’s a catch.

 

DEEBOE

What’s the catch man?

 

SKEETS

You gotta let Jackie stay.  And you have to let me live with her, and you gotta be nice to me.

 

DEEBOE

Damn that’s a lot.

 

SKEETS

Think about it man.  Your own family.  A beautiful wife, some puppies, and Jackie gonna be happy too.

 

DEEBOE

Uhhhh…. Alright.  Man that’s a deal.  But it better work or I’m comin back for Jackie.

 

SKEETS

Trust me, it will.

 

THE END

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