A Play by Lionel G.

CHARACTERS:
BEN F. a HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL, age 100
FINGERS the HAND, age four fingers and a thumb

SETTING:
The Club on Haight and Fillmore
   
TIME:  4:20 pm in the afternoon of April 20, 2007
   
AT RISE:
BEN F. is in the cash register and FINGERS is   walking through the smoke.

BEN F.
Took you long enough.

FINGERS
I had to get past all the smoke.

BEN F.
Nah, you just slow. Slow like the Muni on a Sunday.

FINGERS
Man you dirty and smelly, dirty like a dog that just jumped in the mud and smelly like a sewage treatment plant.

BEN F.
But you only good for three things: picking a nose, picking a butt, or being stuffed in the front of Body’s pants.

FINGERS
You’re a nobody that’s why you’re always being put away in a drawer, sock or a shoe box.

BEN F.
What do you mean a nobody?!  I’m valuable, very respected and treasured.  You would be nothing without a thumb.

FINGERS
Thumb you! You sit around with your corners in the air thinking you’re better than everybody. Ok, Mister High and Mighty, who is more powerful?

BEN F.
What do you mean by more powerful?

FINGERS
Who holds more power, me or you? Because I see it like this: without me, you have nothing and would be alone.

BEN F.
Without me you couldn’t get nothing, and since we are telling the truth, you’re keeping me away from my family. My wife is pregnant and about to have quadruplet quarters. But you just won’t let me go. This is the longest I have ever been with some fingers, usually I’m treated like currency and passed on. But no, not with you, you had to hang on. I know why you hang on, because without me you would have nobody. So you keep me away from my family because you have none. Now who is alone?

FINGERS
So you’re telling me this whole time while we hung out and joked around and became friends you never wanted none of that to happen?

BEN F.
No, I’m not. I’m just saying you’re holding me from my family and I need to get back to them, back to my place as the head of currency. I need to get back before my wife goes into labor.

FINGERS
I can understand that, but with all this time we kicked it you should remember that my twin sister died at birth, so I don’t have anyone.

BEN F.
With my anger I forgot all about that, so for saying that I apologize. But I’m not sorry for what I said about my family.

FINGERS
I don’t know why you think I’m keeping you from your family on purpose. I was keeping you because if I collect every bill in multiples, I would have more power and would also have a family.

BEN F.
So what happened to your other family like your Mom and Dad?

FINGERS
They left me when I was born. I was not old enough to know them. And since my sister died I grew up alone.

BEN F.
You told me your sister died. But you never told me you grew up without a family.

FINGERS
I guess we both have important secrets we kept to ourselves.

BEN F.
I can understand how you feel because I lost my parents. They died and I couldn’t say goodbye. But that should not make you keep me away from my family. We both lost our parents. So how do you think my kids feel? You’re keeping me away from my kids. They probably don’t know if I’m dead or alive! They probably think I don’t love them and I abandoned them.

FINGERS
I’m not trying to make you or your family feel that way. But if you don’t mind my asking how long have you been away from them?

BEN F.
Too long. I haven’t seen them since September 9 of 2006. My wife is due to have the babies this month.

 FINGERS
I’m devastated because I don’t want you to feel like I’m isolating you from your children.

BEN F.
You been holding me here for so long I’m feeling trapped and also torn because I love my family and want to be with them. But torn because now I know, I’m all you’ve got. I thought you were holding me because you’re selfish.

FINGERS
I might be stubborn about getting something I want, but I’m not selfish.

BEN F.
Well, from what you’re saying your coming off pretty desperate, and also jealous.

FINGERS
Don’t get all skeptical on me because you’re getting full of yourself! It bothers me that you think I’m keeping you because I’m jealous of your family! We haven’t known each other for that long, but you should know me better than that.

BEN F.
So why won’t you let me go back to my family?

FINGERS
Because you’re like the only thing I got. I see you like family and I would be distraught if I let you go.

BEN F.
What about my family? Huh. How do you think they feel? I can tell you, miserable, crushed, deserted, bewildered.

FINGERS
So what do you want from me? Because the truth is if I give you away, that is like giving away the last bit of family I have. And that makes me feel hopeless and unloved.  I know it’s right to give you back, but if I do that it would make me worthless.

BEN F.
No it wouldn’t. It would make you one of the strongest appendages I know.

FINGERS
Without you, I’m lonely. I have no self purpose. No will to live. I’ve been alone before and I hate it. I need family, I’ve been alone for too long. I need to be cared for. I’m very insecure and it’s worse when I’m alone.

BEN F.
I know you probably feel alienated because you think I don’t care for you. But the truth is I got a family.  A wife, four kids and four on the way. I have to be there for them.  My wife did not get pregnant by herself, and she is not going to raise our children by herself.

FINGERS
Don’t you get it? I love you. You’re all the family I got in the world and it’s hard to let you go. Don’t you see that? You’re like a piece of me. I need you.

BEN F.
So does my family, they need me a lot more than you do. And if you love me like you say you do, you would let me go.

(FINGERS decides to take BEN F. back to his family. Upon FINGERS departure, he is stopped by BEN F.)

BEN F.
I know you have nobody, so why don’t you stay with me and my family? We could be one big family.

FINGERS
Thank you! This is everything I wanted.

(Now that FINGERS is a new addition to the family, they all went on a big family dinner, to eat ribs, chicken and pork chops. And they all lived happily ever after.)

END OF PLAY.

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