A Play by Steven

CHARACTERS:

Spew the Volcano, 18 Million Years Old
Splash the Pacific Ocean, 20 Million Years Old

SETTING:

Middle of the Pacific Ocean, it’s often-time sunny but today is ominously overcast. 

Spew makes up his own little island.  He is covered in trees and wild animals.  The smell of the forest is always in the air.  He is surrounded by the ocean and the salty breeze is always going through his trees. * His parents are tectonic plates that live beneath him.

Splash the Pacific Ocean is teeming with millions and billions of little creatures living inside him.  He can always feel the breeze blowing over his head with the exception of an occasional hurricane or thunderstorm.  There are a few volcanoes around him and he can smell the sulfur in the air.

TIME: 4:30 pm on a summer rainy day
AT RISE:

Spew is bubbling up and Splash is off fighting his pollution.


Spew:
SPLASH! Watch yourself, man!
(Wave sweeps toward Spew.  Spew cannot avoid it as he is a stationary island.)

Splash:
(from offstage and sounding a bit nonchalant) Oh, sorry man!  I wasn’t paying attention! (Splash runs in from stage left to stop the wave JUST short of Spew’s island beach.)

Spew:
What the heck man! You need to watch yourself better!  You’re always letting your rogue waves get too close to us.

Splash:
Well sorry….I wasn’t nearby.  I was off doin my own thing.  I do have to at least try to keep myself clean…And whaddya mean, ‘us’?

Spew:
I mean ‘us’ as in the people on my island and myself.

Splash:
(Splash speaks as if he just realized something but doesn’t really care too much) Oh, yeah Right.
(Splash freezes in place and Spew begins to think out loud.  Spew sighs before speaking.)

Spew:
You don’t understand me, or if you do, it doesn’t ever seem like it…Every time you don’t control your tide, one or more of my villagers comes up missing or dead! It may not mean much to you but it does to me and it makes me so frustrated with you and the pressure just keeps building, and I don’t know how long I can keep that pressure under control…
(to Splash)
When are you gonna start acting like you care, man?

Splash:
What are you talking about, Spew?

Spew:
I’m talking about you and your nonchalance!  I’m talking about how you don’t seem to care about the people on my island who die because of you! Do you know the kind of pressure that adds to what’s already there?

Splash:
Well sorry I can’t be everywhere at once, man!  I’m off trying to clean myself up so that your villagers and everyone else who uses me doesn’t have to swim or bathe in water full of Coke cans and banana peels!  When are you gonna care about what I want?!

Spew:
Well I do! That’s why I never complain when these things happen.  I care about what you care about.  But all of this pressure is starting to build up and if I explode one more time, well…I’m already too far from my parents.

Splash:
You mean those ‘tectonic plate’ parents of yours who beat you up when you were growin’ up?

Spew:
How the hell did you know that?

Splash:
Oh, come on man.  It wasn’t so hard to see.  Most growing volcanoes don’t have as many vents as you had when they were growing, and man, lemme tell you.  You had a lot.

Spew:
Yeah, well it doesn’t matter.  I’m grown up now.  I can see that they had millions of tons of stress that they had to deal with, just like me.  I’ve forgiven them already and I really care about them.  But with all of this pressure comes eruptions and with every eruption comes more distance between me and my tectonic parents.

Splash:
I think it does matter.  They mistreated you so much your entire life and now after 18 million years you come to terms with them and put them before me, who has been nothing but a best friend your entire life!

Spew:
Yes!  I am putting them first!  They are my parents, and the only ones I’ll ever have!  And now, I’m on the verge of erupting again and because of how big I already am, this isn’t going to be any regular eruption Splash!  This one is going to be 10 times worse than my grandpa Vesuvius, and that was bad!

Splash:
Well, I’m sorry man…I never knew you felt so (strongly)….

Spew:
(Spew cuts Splash off, mid-word, strongly.)  And think of all that lava!  All I need is this one last layer of magma to make me bigger, and it’s “Bye, bye, parents!”  I’ll never be able to talk to them again!  I’ll be too far!

Splash:
If you don’t mind my asking, why do you feel so strongly?

Spew:
My family means the world to me.  Mom has been there by my side my entire life teaching me how to grow up and be a good volcano.  She wasn’t having none of that bad-assed volcano business, always blowin’ off my top. But because of your carelessness, I am doing exactly what she didn’t want.  And my dad…he is my role model.  He knows that in every situation, taking your time is always the best route.  Hah, I always remember him saying “Patience and understanding are virtues.”

Splash:
Sorry I’ve been so sidetracked.  It’s just I’ve been so dirty lately and its been getting the best of me.  One day it’s an offshore oil rig dripping bits of oil onto my glimmering, shimmering hair, then it’s a dump being created on my back!  And to make it worse, Exxon Valdez had a leaky ship spill all of their oil into me.  It was my worst fear come true…I only wanted you to erupt so that you could boil away some of the trash in me.

Spew:
(feels jaded, says in shocked voice) You wanted me to erupt?

Splash:
I’m sorry.  I really am.  It wasn’t until you told me how you really felt that I realized how it would affect you.

Spew:
Well, that was a POLLUTED move!

(Spew goes off on Splash, blows open a side vent and BOTH characters get what they want.  Spew gets to blow off his steam without growing bigger and Splash, using the vented magma that flowed into him, cleans up some pollution.  They both make up and it turns out to be a better day indeed!)

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