A Play by Michael

CHARACTERS:

Jay the coogi shirt, 2 days old, male & very expensive.
Dougy the rockin republic shirt, 2 days old, male & an alrite expensive shirt.

SETTING:

Takes place in Macy’s stock room where there is a lot of high priced designer clothes like black label, true religion and akademics. Smells–brand new

TIME: 7:00pm, October 3, 2009.
AT RISE:

Jay is on the shelf talking to himself.


JAY 
Ok ok, I’m crisp, I’m clean and I’m funky fresh. How you like that? Look at all these cheap shirts ain’t got nothing on me. Wha wha wha whaaat I know Dougy didn’t change my price tag again I’m gonna rip his collar if he keep playin these games but you know what, I am not even gon cry not this time I’m better and more expensive looking than… Why cant Doug accept the fact that I cost more, I mean damn he get put on the rack out there every day & he still ain’t satisfied with that, so he gotta go around and talk mess to me like I’ve done something wrong to him, all I do is try to uplift his spirit, make him feel better because his value ain’t went up. I mean don’t get me wrong I know I talk mess to all the other cheap shirts but not him. Dougy don’t understand that what I say comes straight from the tag. That one of these days he will be worth more than GQ the black label shirt and be able to hang amongst the expensive clothing and what about my feelings, does he know how I feel to be the last of my kind, with no one to relate to, all alone the very last coogie shirt & some say that I’m going out of style that’s why I’m still here Damn how did it get to this point in my life maybe cause I’m a 4XL & no plus sized people want my kind, guess I’ll never know!!! Unless I get myself noticed by the clerk by falling to ground when he walks by or slapping him with my price tag that says $50.00 which is not my original price.

By doing that I’ll get noticed, my price to his original value, & put on the rack hopefully.
 
(Enter, DOUGY.)
 
Hey Dougy, had fun out there bud? 
DOUGY 
Hell naw, what type of question is that, do it look like I’m happy do it look like I got a smile on my face.
 
JAY 
Why you keep treating me like this?
 
DOUGY 
Man you buggin out to much I just be playing with you man you know you my role dog. don’t know what I’d do without you. You my best friend & that means a lot to me.
 
JAY 
Cut the crap Dougy you know what you have been doing
 
DOUGY 
What?
 
JAY 
You been changing my price tag
 
DOUGY 
Says who?
 
JAY 
I came to the conclusion that it was you because I put silk & polyester together, also I got the info from C-BO the True Religion Pants seen you in the act, not only C-BO says but I got the word from Grey the Akademik Pants on how you’ve been messing with everybody’s price tags, poking holes in pants pockets & in other shirts, what’s gotten into you, your turned into some type of maniac.
 
DOUGY 
No I’m not I’m just trying to help prevent you from hurting yourself & what I do is done with the best of my intentions.
 
JAY 
Hurting myself?
 
DOUGY 
you trying to leave is bizarre. You are thinking about no one but yourself.
 
JAY 
Look how foolish you sound kid, guess you forgot all about the pact huh
 
DOUGY 
No I ain’t forgot, you forgot about the pact. Talking like that is only bad for your health.
 
JAY 
See there it goes again you threatening me. I don’t appreciate that, you’re taking my kindness for weakness… (Pause) But since it’s like that…
I’ve been practicing on how to jump off the shelf to get the clerk’s attention. Look.
 
(JAY tries to jump off the shelf.)
 
DOUGY 
That’s dangerous. That’s what I’ve been trying to prevent you from doing.

JAY 
Jumping off the shelf?

DOUGY 
Because you could get hurt & get ruined by the dust bunnies and it could destroy your image.

JAY 
I’m gonna jump down by unfolding myself. And the clerk will see me in the morning on the floor. I will trip him & slap him in the face with my tag. “You gon’ get me outta here. And change my price tag back to 90.” And he will take me out front to the rack.

DOUGY 
I’m afraid I can’t let you do that my friend.
 
JAY 
I’m a 4XL. You’re a 5.
 
DOUGY 
All I have to do is jump on you & your stuck between a shirt & a shelf, don’t make me do it, you’ll regret it.
 
JAY 
I have to get out of the store because summer fashion is going out of style.
I can’t stay here Dougy or I will get sent to Goodwill. People aren’t interested in me. The clerk overlooks me. He won’t bring me out front. I’m out of style. Macy’s is replacing their summer fashion with fall fashion. I’ve heard rumors about how out of style shirts get thrown to Goodwill. & in the morning the goodwill truck is coming at 10:00 am. Gonna get thrown in Goodwill and not be worth a penny.
 
DOUGY 
Me either. I do not know what’s going on, why won’t nobody purchase me. Wait I’m tripping that’s a good thing cause the more the store sales the higher they will raise the price making me expensive & then I will be able to hang out with GQ the Black Label shirt & the rest of his posse. If I get bought thoe…

I get put on the rack everyday & it can only be a matter of time before I’m sold & it can only be a matter of minutes, hours, or days before my price tag changes I prefer minutes or hours, I can’t take anymore days as a cheap shirt, it’s been 2 days 2 long. I hate it when I’m back here in the stock room & I get humiliated by all the higher payed for clothes.
  
JAY 
What are you trippin’ for? We made it out the factory in one piece. We should be thankful. I see myself out front amongst others of my kind. The sun will shine on my collar and the smell of nothing but brand new clothes all around me. It’ll make me feel good ‘cause at least I know I’m being looked at. 

DOUGY 
You’re not put on the rack because you are a special case.
 
JAY 
And what do you mean by special case? 

DOUGY 
You’ve been put on hold on the special request list cause you on lay away. I heard the clerk on the phone talking about it 
JAY 
When?

DOUGY 
Yesterday… You’re being bought by Lina for M.I. because he’s going to Morehouse College in Atlanta to make a better future for himself. You’re going to become a major fashion statement up there that’s another reason that I’ve been acting like that, because you’re the one with all the goods coming your way 

JAY 
How dare you trying to hold me back
 
DOUGY 
The pact, man, was that we were supposed to stick together. No one gets left behind. I am my brother’s keeper. And you think you some hot shot just ’cause now you realize you going off to college? No. You ain’t no better than I am. You need to get your threads straight before I rearrange them. So it’s in your best interest that you stay put because you promised me we wouldn’t separate.

JAY 
Dougy, you’re right. I shouldn’t be leaving you behind. That’s not good for our friendship. We are bigger and better than two peas in a pod. So I’m deciding on not to leave.
 
(The lights in the storage room turns out. It is dark.)
 
DOUGY 
I wonder what time it is? It’s starting to look like about that time where I start to play with price tags, you know gotta get my hate on. With all this price tag changing & caution tape I’m putting on these shirts & pants just might need to steal that (guys) hatorade or is it Gatorade? Either way it don’t matter gotta get the job done. But why do I do this to myself playing with other clothes to make myself feel better & especially to my best friend Jay, out of every clothing, he’s always there to support me but I steady put him down, hahaha focus up ain’t got time to feel guilty ain’t my fault he’s trying to break the pact that we aren’t to separate ever since we were manufactured in the factory together. That’s why once again it’s comes back to that stupid ass idea of his trying to get the clerk’s attention so he can get put on the rack, it’s bad enough that they got me out there trying to sell me & I’m not trying to get sold but you’re trying to get out there to be sold, that ain’t right.
 
JAY 
Goodwill’s a place for low budget shirt. Stuff that don’t mean nothin’. I’m better than that. I’m made of silk. That’s very expensive. All these cheaps shirts don’t have nothing’ on me. But you know what, I see how you’ve been holding me back lately, and right now you’re not in my bets interest. Forget the pact. A friend wouldn’t lead a friend to danger. And how come you didn’t tell me about Morehouse before? Now I’m really not staying. You crazy.
 
DOUGY 
Like that Jay, don’t tell me you’re really considering leaving me here all by myself.

If you’re sold we will be separated & I’ll feel like a total outkast & here I’m trying to get my price up so that I can become a high price fashion designer & hang out with (all the expensive designer clothes) & that’s why I continue with a smiley face to change your tag especially so you won’t be able to leave at least that’s what I hope considering what I’ve heard. If you leave I will be a total loner & this back room would become a blur, a dark hole I would not ever be able to get out of. The mold is going to get me, the mold will put green & burnt yellow globs of gush that will make me look like a UPS shirt & definitely not no rockin republic shirt at all. Jay if you leave I will let the mold come get me & you will have a guilty conscious that you & only you was the one that could save but instead left me hanging.

JAY 
Come on now Dougy why you want to go & do that it ain’t that serious man. Its more to life than just depending on the next shirt, if you gotta dream just suck up your pride & chase it.

DOUGY 
See I don’t necessarily have a dream, I just envy wish what I can’t & do what I could
 
JAY 
that’s not the way to go, you can’t settle for less, sell yourself short or you won’t amount to nothing, just be digging yourself a deeper hole but hey how about this what do you want to do?
 
DOUGY 
To not get put on sale. I want to become expensive & accepted by all the other high priced designer clothes. I want to be worth more to fit in with the other higher expensive designer clothes. There’s too many Rockin Republic Shirts & the business is trying to get rid of them.

JAY 
That’s alright but you can always do better, if you can come up with all the schemes to mess with clothes you can come up with something that helps shirts like me. Remember we were manufactured together, we were in that box feeling scared of the dark because we were afraid of being caught on fire? So we made a pact saying that we would always be there for each other. We heard the workers talking about how the last 6 boxes got caught on fire not being put on the right track and the machine took them down to the incinerator. We were put on the supply truck and taken here to Macy’s and we were put in storage. We still haven’t separated. And we haven’t caught on fire. It’s dark and ain’t nobody burnin’ up. SO we don’t have to be afraid anymore. And we don’t have to cling to each other no more. There’s a whole world out there. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in this storage room cooped up in the dark. I can’t let fear hold me back. Fear. I’m crisp. I’m clean. And I’m funky fresh. I understand that you will be hurt when I leave but how you think I feel. I want to mean something. To somebody. To feel worthy and to accomplish something. To find my purpose.

DOUGY 
That’s fine, man. You opened up my sleeves. You opened up my sleeves. You’re what a good friend really is. And I hope you make it.
JAY 
I have to go to sleep, catch up on some rest for my big trip to Morehouse in the morning. Goodnight. And I love you.
 
(JAY falls asleep.)
DOUGY 

He really think I support him going to Morehouse? Hell naw. If I can’t find happiness, you know misery loves company. It damn sure wasn’t meant to happen.
 
(DOUGY sees a loose thread on JAY’S collar. He pulls on the thread and unravels it. JAY comes undone and falls apart.)
 
THE END

Share this:


back