Above a Chinese Restaurant (2006)

 

 

A Play by Mel 

 

 

CHARACTERS:

 

Character 1: Issac the Fly, Character 2: Charlie the ChowFun

 

 

SETTING:

 

An office above a Chinese food restaurant.  White take out box on top of a computer, door on the left, crib in the middle, fly paper is on the shelf they can see from on top of the computer.  Issac the Fly has laid his fly larva in the noodles of Charli the Chow Fun.  Both characters are conflicted because they are getting in the way of each others dreams.  This is what lies above a Chinese Restaurant.

AT RISE:

 

Issac the Fly is packing to go to Venice, Italy.  Putting all his things in a matchbox.

 

          

 

Charles:
What are you doing?

Issac:
I have to go.  I’m running out of time!

Charles:
What do you mean you’re running out of time?

Issac:
You know all about my situation.  You know I made a promise to my mother to see the world!

Charles:
What about your family?  You can’t just leave us!  What are you thinking?

Issac:
Listen.  I feel like we don’t need to talk about this.  You know what I had to do when you got into this relationship.

Charles:
Yes, but things are different now!  I thought maybe if you saw how wonderful a family could be then you’d want to stay, and forget all about the past.  It was so long ago, don’t you think if she was alive now she’d want you to stay with our family? 

Issac:
She’s not alive Charlie!  You knew that!  You didn’t have to go there! 

Charles:
But I went there!  Wee need you!  You don’t want to end up like your mother dead in a sticky fly trap! I know you don’t. 

Issac:
Well, I won’t, I’m careful and cautious about my surroundings.

Charles:
What about that time you flew into a parked car, huh, and fractured your whole body, huh?  Huh?

Issac:
That was a one time thing and I was a little drunk off the Couvasier in the neighbor’s garbage can.

Charles:
If it could happen once, it could happen again and I won’t be there to wipe up your vomit.

Issac:
Well, I can wipe up my own vomit thank you very much.  I don’t need you and you certainly don’t need me.  You obviously are a strong independent side dish!  You don’t need me, they don’t need me…They probably don’t even care about me.

Charles:
I can see why.  Who could ever love a heartless fly like you, you jerk!

Issac:
Well you did, many multiple times may I add!

Charles:
Well I do love you, I can’t help that.  Why would you want to leave that?  I never had a family before and now I get one and it’s falling apart.

Issac:
I don’t care.  I DO NOT CARE!

Charles:
Well I do care.  You have a dream to see the world and I have a dream to have a family.  I can’t have my dream if you leave and you can’t have your dream if I slam you into that fly paper!  I grew up alone and lonely and nobody deserves that.  Especially any child of mine.  It was harder for me to survive because I learned from the mean streets of Chinatown instead of learning from the wisdom of my family.  Besides it’s impossible to see everything there is to see in 24 hours, most humans live 80 years or more and only see what’s within 25 miles.  It just can’t be done.

Issac:
Why do you have to tear my dreams down like that?  I believe in myself and I can do anything I put my mind to.  You’re so negative.  You ARE Chow Fun, Chow FUN, couldn’t you be a little more FUN loving instead of being such a…

Charles:
You’ll never leave the family!  Do you hear me!!!  I’ll lock you up and stick you in a box, Hell, I’ll stick you on that fly paper and you can watch us from afar the rest of your life!!!  Why?!  Why are you doing this?  You just like to see me like this, don’t you.  Is this how you repay me for everything I’ve done for you?!

It’s impossible to see the world in 24 hours.  Unless you have majical Harry Potter powers or something it just can’t be done.  And I hope you come to terms with that or you’re going to lose your family!

Issac:
First of all, it’s not totally proven that Harry Potter wasn’t a real person.  And Second of all, I’m tired of having this conversation with you.  I’m leaving.

(The babies start crying, Issac goes to them)

Don’t cry.  You don’t need me!  Your mom can be a prick sometimes but she’s overall a good mom.  No, don’t cry!  
(Tries to cheer them up by playing “got your nose”  but they still cry)
Daddy might be gone 3 or 4…ever, no don’t cry.  I had a mom one time just like you and I promised her that I would see the world so I could be her eyes and then she went away forever.  She wanted the best for me just like any good parent would.  (He stares at them for awhile)  Oh, you have my eyes, and my wings too….and your left eyes are twice the size of your right eyes just like mine.  Ohhhh, you ugly little cutie pie!  I’m going to miss you little buggers, but I have to go.  I know it’s dangerous out there but I made a promise but still home is where the heart is…and my heart is here…but my obligations lie elsewhere.  I don’t know, it’s all so confusing!  What is a fly to do?  I can’t do everything…I’m not Jesus or Oprah Windrey, I can’t believe I’m having second thoughts after being sure for all this time.  What would Oprah do?

Charles:
See?  You know you should stay with us.  You even said it yourself, any good parent would want the best for their children.  And what’s best for our children is for you to stay with them.

Issac:
I know.   I know.  But I have an obligation to my mother…

Charles:
Screw your obligation.  If she was alive now she would take my side because she knows what it’s like to be a mother struggling to provide for her children.  She probably just made you promise to see the world as kind of a metaphorical statement like she wanted to “out with a bang” they do that on Lifetime all the time.

Issac:
Don’t you talk about my mother.  She wanted the best for me because she didn’t have the best for herself.

Charles:
Well maybe you should take a page from her book and give the best to your children because you never had the best.  You will never have the best life and you may never have the best family either.  But you will have the best damn box of Chow Fun the whole city of San Francisco can offer.

(Issac goes to the door, looks at the doorknob for awhile, then quickly turns around and runs to the noodles of ChowFun.)

The End

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