A Play

A Play by Diondre 

LIGHTNING
Hey Chris, I’m gonna be the fastest Lamborghini.

CHRIS
I wanna be the prettiest S-600…be so pretty they won’t even want to drive me. They won’t even want to take me out of the garage…

LIGHTNING
Forget you and your prettiness! You always want to be in the garage. I don’t know about you, but I wanna be the fastest. I wanna be out of this garage. I am getting sick and tired of being in the garage, not moving.  Matter of fact, Chris, I just heard from the owner that one of the cars is gonna be moving, up to the front, by the entrance, where all the customers come in.

CHRIS
I bet ya I’ll get there before you.

LIGHTNING
That’s a bet.

(They both honk their horns at the same time.)
(The owner comes in.)

CHRIS
I’m about to leave. Peace!

                        (The owner tells one of the dealers to get Chris.)

CHRIS
 (singing sarcastically)  I think I got the re-ed box! I think I should bee-eep my horn!

LIGHTNING
(thinking)  No. NO! If the owner picks Chris, I am gonna go over- line. My gasket is about to blow!   (Talking out loud sarcastically)  Good for you.

CHRIS
Man, Lightning. You are supposed to be happy for me. We are best friends.

LIGHTNING
Happy for you? I am happy for you.  Not happy, across the hall now- alone.

CHRIS
We can still talk across the hall.

LIGHTNING
I don’t want to talk across the hall. I want the customers to look at me, too. You don’t know how it feels to be alone!

CHRIS
Tell me how it feels.

LIGHTNING
Man, you don’t want to know how it feels. You’re going to start crying oil if I tell you how it feels to be alone.

CHRIS
No, I won’t. Just tell me. We are best friends. I can respect what’s in your trunk.

LIGHTNING
Okay, I’ll tell you. It feels like being on the back of a tow truck on the way to the shop, to get my head gasket fixed…might as well be in the junkyard. It’s like being in the dark with no headlights. No one to see. No one to honk to. That’s why I don’t want you to go on the red box without me.

CHRIS
I feel you, but I can’t get off the box. It would look weird to the owner.

LIGHTNING
 (trying to use reversed psychology)  It’s cool, Chris. You can be on the box. I’m gonna have to be alone.

CHRIS
No, you’re not. You’re not gonna be alone. I am gonna still be here with you, but higher than you.

LIGHTNING
Very funny, Chris. It’s okay, Chris, you can have the box because I’m gonna laugh all in your trunk when they give me all the attention, when all the customers come to me.

CHRIS
How you gonna laugh at me when I am on the box in front of the entrance…when all the customers are gonna see my sexy body?

LIGHTNING
You’ll see when customers come in, watch!  Matter of fact, Chris, there’s customers coming in now.

(Customers are coming in. They are looking at Chris, reading his sign, looking at his Lamborghini butterfly doors and his rims.)

CHRIS
 (teasing)  AAA-ha! Told you I’ll get the shine!

(LIGHTNING starts getting hot)

CHRIS
Man, you need some cooling water!

LIGHTNING
Why he get all the shine?  What did I do wrong? I got the best engine ever. The best paint job .Why am I not on the box in front of the door? Sometimes I wish it was just me here with the other Lamborghinis so I could get bought.  Dang, Chris, he got four doors. What’s so good about four doors? Just because he got Lamborghini and butterfly doors. I got Lamborghini doors.  Man, I’m feeling carsick, looking at him on the box, shining.

CHRIS
 (sarcastically) Lightning, how does it feel to get all the shine?

LIGHTNING
You know what Chris? Joke’s over.  You my best friend .You’re right. I should be happy for you.

CHRIS
For real, Lightning?

LIGHTNING
No.

 (LIGHTNING turns up his music loud, playing his favorite song “Take your Chick” from Critical Committee.)

CHRIS
LIGHTNING! Listen to me! That’s how it is? You wanna play music? Let’s go!

(CHRIS turns up his own music, “We Solid” by Critical Committee)

(The car dispenser is very loud because of the music from the two immature cars.)

LIGHTNING
Chris! Can you turn down your music so we can talk like two grown engines?

CHRIS
Okay.

 (CHRIS turns down his music)

LIGHTNING
Chris, remember when we first met?

CHRIS
You made me turn down my music for this?  Yeah dude, what about it?

LIGHTNING
Remember how I used to brag about how I was the fastest?

CHRIS
Yeah, man. It was irritating how you used to always brag about racing and stuff.

LIGHTNING
I was lying. I never raced

CHRIS
I knew that.

LIGHTNING
How did you know?

CHRIS
You always switched the story. Like one time you said you won by an inch and then you change it and say you won it by a yard! I knew you was lying.

LIGHTNING
Good. Got that out of the way. The reason I told you that cause you gonna get bought probably before me…a friend should never keep secrets.

CHRIS
Man, don’t think that way; you don’t know what could happen. You might get bought before me. Who cares if I’m on the box? The box don’t mean nothin’.
I got fears, too.  You.

LIGHTNING
Me?

CHRIS
Yeah you, dude. You and me know you shine just as hard as me.

LIGHTNING
How?

CHRIS
You’re all black with shiny rims. Customers love that. You do remember my cousin, don’t you?

LIGHTNING
Yeah. I know you ain’t talking about the old beat up Toyota bucket?!

CHRIS
Yeah, him. He was all black with a little shine on his rims – he got bought. You saw how messed up he was!

LIGHTNING
What you trying to say?!

CHRIS
I’m saying you could get bought before me…even though I’m prettier.

LIGHTNING
You always think you’re pretty.

CHRIS
You know how I am –always wanted to be pretty. Since I saw that TV show…You see the customers standing around me right now. Hey Lightning!

LIGHTNING
What?

CHRIS
 (talking about a customer next to him)  Why this lady’s perfume smell like fruit punch?

LIGHTNING
 (getting mad)  So what?! You are about to make me over-line!

(The owner starts chauffeuring the customers to the Lambos, towards Lightning.)

CHRIS
Hey, where y’all going? Oh No. NO! This can’t happen.  Them customers…talk so good about me, but they don’t wanna buy me.  Please ! Don’t tell me! They going towards the Lambos …they going towards Lightning! He’s my best friend and all, but all he do is go fast and hold two people. I hold four and I got different doors. We both got the same engine, both got V-12s. Just he got a supercharger in his, that don’t mean nothin’. Was I dreaming?  They really walked to Lightning? I am about to be carsick! I can’t believe they are really talking about him!  Where’s my seatbelt? I gotta hold myself back!

LIGHTNING
I’ll take your customers. I can’t believe they coming towards me!

CHRIS
I know they didn’t walk away from me. They’ll be back. They can’t look at two doors and shiny rims; there is nothing cool about that. They’ll be back.

(LIGHTNING ain’t tripping. He is happy because no one has ever paid attention to him before)

LIGHTNING
Buy me! Buy me, so I can prove this sucker wrong!  (thinking)  Man, what am I saying? I can’t leave Chris. He’s my only friend.We been together for too long… I’ll be alone again.

CHRIS
You aint gonna get bought. You gonna get lost!

LIGHTNING
Stop hatin’. That’s mean. I got nothing but love for you, car.

CHRIS
For real? For real? I love you too, dude. Hey Lightning! The customers are moving to the middle of the room. They’re talking about us!

LIGHTNING
Hey Chris, guess who just walked in? Master P!

CHRIS
Who’s Master P?

LIGHTNING
You don’t know Master P?  King of car shows and a famous rapper. UHHH! UHHH!(Showing Chris part of a song)

CHRIS
No, Lightning. He’s coming towards me!

LIGHTNING
He’s what? Aww, hell no. He better not buy him before me!

CHRIS
Lightning, He’s staring at my body. I think he likes my butterfly doors and my Lamborghini doors and my 22 inch rims.

(The owner of the car dispenser walks to Master P, who is looking at Chris and tells them they got a special Lamborghini right over there and shows him Lightning.)

CHRIS
Where you going?

LIGHTNING
He’s coming to me.

(Master P walks towards Lightning. He asks the owner how fast Lightning goes. The owner tells him 250 miles per hour. Master P tells him he would like to buy both the Lambo and the Mercedes.)

CHRIS
You hear that Lightning? We just got bought!

LIGHTNING
We got bought?

CHRIS
 (yelling joyfully)   Yeah!

LIGHTNING
Chris, you know what that means? We can shine. You can be a pretty car and I can be the fastest. Are you excited? ‘Cause I am!

CHRIS
Yeah! I can get my oil changed now. I can get a TV in my headrests and I can finally touch the road…pushing everyone to the side when I pass by.

LIGHTNING
Yeah, man. I can finally go on the track and push it to the limit!

(Master P orders an eighteen- wheeler to come and pick up Chris and Lightning. He takes them to the Sunset District, to a big white house with a water fountain in front and a big ol’ circle for the cars.)

 THE END