A Play by Miguel C.

Performance: May 2003
Hillcrest Juvenile Hall, San Mateo

Time: In the middle of the night, summertime
Place: In the middle of Arizona, where it’s blizzarding hot, where there’s a lot of vultures poking at each other.
At Rise: Loco the Tornado and his closest friend, Leila the cow are arguing, while he was spinning around. Leila was inside of him throwing prairie dogs and bones at him. Loco throws a prairie dog at her.


Hey, Loco, why did you destroy the farmer’s house? (She throws a bone and prairie dog at him.)


Why’d you throw the prairie dog at me? It’s not all my fault. You had some part in it. So why can’t I get mad at you?

Leila: It is all your fault. You destroyed it. I didn’t do nothin’. I was just there.

So, you’re sayin’ if you had a gun and somebody got shot, and you were around, they’re not gonna blame you?


But… but… but, it’s not all my fault. You had some part in it. (She throws a bond and pulls her tail.)

Loco: Yes it is. You the one who brought me into the house. You know I don’t normally go in houses. I felt excited, adventurous because I’d never been inside a house because I always destroy them. I felt confused because in a way I like destroying houses but in a way I like to be in one of them. So, it is all your fault.
Leila: (She starts crying and yells) You made me bring you in the house. You wanted to come in. I hate you.

Shut up! Don’t ever say that! You’re the one who planted all this and the farmer gets in the way. You wanted me to come in. You planted the whole thing.

Leila: (sarcastically)
What you mean? I? I planted all this? You’re the one who picked me up, took me places, bought me a number one meal…
Loco: What do I mean? I’m a tornado! What do you mean? A tornado in a house? Think about it. And, no, it wasn’t a number one meal. It was a number two meal. It’s called the wheat meal.
(They both start laughing. Leila laughs so hard she spills milk out her nose)
Leila: Ok, ok, ok. How about this? Why don’t we both take some part in it? How ‘bout we both take 50/50 %?
Loco: Ok, ok. 50/50. But not really 50/50. How ‘bout you take 90 and I take 10%? That sounds better.
Leila: What? What you mean 90%? Does it look like I wanna take 90%? Look at me.
Loco: Yeah, I am lookin’ at you. It looks like you wanna open a milk store.

What you mean a milk store? It should be a cheese store. And by the way, are you makin’ fun of me?

Loco: No, no. I’m not makin’ fun of you. I’m just tryin’ to push my way in. So, do you forgive me? Can we start bustin’ jokes?
Leila: Have you heard of the one with the cow and the farmer?

No, I haven’t.


Good, ‘cuz you’re not gonna hear it.
(They both start coming together. They give each other a hug.)


Ok, could we agree on somethin’? Can I tell you somethin’? Let’s keep it real for one time.
(Aside) I don’t have nobody so I want to destroy every body and Leila likes me a lot and I want her to care for me more. So, I must show off for her. So I want to be in the National Geographics by being the greatest and biggest tornado that ever happened because I wanna become somethin’ and known by people and Leila. To feel their hearts pump while sayin’ my name.
(To Loco) Would you move with me somewhere far away where it’s just the two of us?


(Aside) I feel this way when Loco told me to move away, far, far way with him. I feel happy in a way, but in a way I don’t. I feel happy because I wanna be with him but I want my dream too, as he wants his dream. I don’t wanna move because I want to have my dream house where I was born. I wanna see vultures pokin’ at each other. I wanna throw prairie dogs at the other cows. I wanna taste the hot sand. I want to start bustin’ jokes and make milk come out my nose. If I won the lottery, I would fulfill my dream by buying a house by where I was born and have fun with lots of friends and with Loco, my best pal. I would like it if Loco would bring a house to where I was born. I would live with him and have a lot of fun where I was born. If the farmer fixed the house, I would live with him and if Loco doesn’t wanna live there, I could come visit him, or he could come visit me. But, I would like it if he would stay. I want to say yes, but I want him to stay with me.
(To Loco. Choking on milk with a big gasp) What you mean? Move away from all of this? I had to tell you somethin’ too, but I guess I’ll just tell you right away if we’re keeping it real.

Loco: What is it? So do you? Huh? Huh?
Leila: Ummm. Uh…Ok. But, we gotta work on somethin’. We can’t always be fightin’ if we’re gonna live together.
Loco: Woo hoo!
Leila: Can I reason with you? Can we live together far away, but come back every day? And it will be a good trip
Loco: Uh… I don’t know about that. I just wanna leave and never come back. I wanna move on. I don’t like this environment. This environment ain’t for me and you. It’s just not the place where we can build a relationship. It’s too close. There’s too many memories here. And we don’t have a home here. We might have a new life up ahead. We might probably be better off than where we are here.
(Aside) I feel angry ‘cuz she won’t move on. She won’t forget what happened to her family. She won’t give me a chance. This whole place is bringin’ her issues up. Her issues get me upset. Her issue of her family, her brother, her mother. It gets me upset. Why can’t she just forget about it and move on? She dreams of a house, but why here?
(To Leila) But why do you dream of a house here?
Leila: “Cuz I want to have the memories of my family, of the ones I haven’t seen, to feel their spirit inside of me.
Loco: Just let it go. Move on.
Leila: (Gets mad and starts to cry) Stop it. Stop it! Stop talking about it.
Loco: I’m telling you the truth and you know I am so stop being in denial. I’m gonna leave if you don’t stop.
Leila: So just drop me and be your biggest and baddest tornado you want to be. (She starts to cry) You always think of yourself, why don’t you think of me?
Loco: Because it’s a 50/50 chance that the farmer’s gonna kill me. So, if we don’t get the heck out of here, we’re gonna- well, I’m gonna die. I don’t know about you.
Leila: Ok, ok, calm down.
Loco: Calm down? What you mean, calm down?
Leila: Yes, yes, I know somethin’ might happen to you. But, that’s beside the point. We’re talkin’ about livin’ in a house, and it’s the middle of the night. Where we gonna go to sleep? Think about that.
Loco: I feel mad because you can’t understand what I am tryin’ to say. I’m tryin to say that I don’t like this place. I don’t feel comfortable here. I’m tryin’ to say let’s move on and forget about here.
Leila: I didn’t know you felt like that. If I knew that you wanted a new life, I would have thought about it and the things that you told me before. So, ok. Ok. I’ll give it a try.
    The End.