A Play by Anthony L.
SLICK CUTTY COON (crying) Mom, dad, Loony, Blacky …why… why you guys? (pause) Screw Animal control. They killed my only family. I’ma about to meet yall in heaven right now. Wait for me. (He walks toward the middle of the street like a zombie with no feelings. Cars are honking, he’s about to become roadkill. All of a sudden he gets tackled back into the Alley. He’s dizzy, his sight is blurry.)
Wow, am I in heaven already? Dat wasn’t a painful death. (he’s still dizzy, but all of sudden he sees Blacky.) Blacky!!! Where’s Mom, Loony and Dad, they didn’t make it to heaven?
BLACKY (sadly) Mom & Dad did make it, to heaven. Me, you and Loony are the only ones that survived. (tear falls down his cheek)
SLICK CUTTY COON What do mean. We’re the only ones who survived? I’m not dead? But I was just hit by a car, I was just road kill.
BLACKY You mean you were almost just road kill. I saved your furry behind from being squished like a grape. I was almost too late.
SLICK CUTTY COON So you’re saying I’m not dead? This isn’t heaven?
BLACKY You consider the Mission heaven?
SLICK CUTTY COON So, I am still in the Mission. Man, I thought I was in heaven already.
BLACKY You were about to be if I would’ve never ran here as fast…
SLICK CUTTY COON So wait, I’m confused. You tackled me too hard.
BLACKY That car would’ve tackled you even harder, and really sent you to heaven. Let me explain: you were the only one who got away that night.
SLICK CUTTY COON So where’s Loony?
BLACKY Sit down brother, get some air –chill for a minute.
SLICK CUTTY COON Alright, I am chill and relaxed. Let me know wus up, what happened?
BLACKY That night was a big mess. We started off by eating some real good leftovers: pizza, pasta, Chinese… all that you could think of, remember? We were doing our ‘g’ thang, chillin’ eatin’ like we always do. Then all of a sudden, we see a big van pull up with some big words, ‘Animal Control’ written on it.
SLICK CUTTY COON Oh yeah, I remember. Now its all coming back to sense.
BLACKY Then a big buff man came out the van and cornered us all. He tried grabbin me and you. But before he could, mom & dad attacked him and bit him. While all of this was happening. We didn’t know what to do. We were frozen like statues, we were in shock.
SLICK CUTTY COON Yea bro, I was in total shock, didn’t know how to react
BLACKY Then all of a sudden, the man grabbed Mom & Dad and threw them to the floor, and stomped them out til they were dead. When he was done stomping them out, he looked at us with a furious look in his face. He ran toward us and grabbed me and Loony, I don’t know where you was when all this happened. You disappeared like a ghost.
SLICK CUTTY COON Man, I ran for my life! I should’ve helped yall out. I could’ve bit him in the neck. And we all would’ve been freed.
BLACKY You saying you could’ve saved us man? Its all good though, we still alive bro. We still out here in the Mission (scream ‘sha-ou’)
SLICK CUTTY COON Yea bro, so keep telling me, what happened?
BLACKY After you disappeared, the man put me and Loony in a cage, and threw us in the van.
SLICK CUTTY COON Man, I thought he killed yall !
BLACKY We were in the van for a long ride. Then he took us out and we entered a big building, called Animal Control, like the van. When I got inside, he put me and Loony in some separate cages. There was all kinds of captured animals in there. All the animals were some going crazy when we entered. I think I even heard a monkey.
SLICK CUTTY COON Really, a monkey? For-sizzles?
BLACKY Yea man, there was even a sexy pussy cat who I met in there. She was in a cage next to me. We conversated for hours. Her parents were killed too, by another buff guy too. I think I’m in love! But yea anyways, they kept Loony really far away from he was like 20 cages from me. About like 2 hours passed, and some doors opened and I seen a human family pass all the cages and look at us. When they get to me, they stop, and a little girl points at me. And the Animal Control dude writes something, and they all leave. A couple of minutes later the guy comes and takes me out of my cage, and takes me to another room. Before he left I seen Loony. He was looking pretty sad.
SLICK CUTTY COON So he is still alive?
BLACKY Yea bro
SLICK CUTTY COON We gotta save him man! But how manage to find your way out of there.
BLACKY Let me tell you now
SLICK CUTTY COON Alright
BLACKY When I got to the other room, they took me out of my cage and started examining me, doing a whole bunch of tests. When all of a sudden I hear them talking about that they wanna neuter me. Man! I didn’t wanna get neutered, I wanna have a family some day, you feel me?
SLICK CUTTY COON I don’t feel you, but I hear you
BLACKY Then the doctor leaves and comes back to the room with a big needle. I think it was to put me to sleep so they can neuter me. Man, I started going crazy! I seen a big window open, and I made a run for it. I made it, I ran as fast as I can. I never jumped so far in my life. I made it out the window, and When I looked down it was a pretty big fall, but you know we cats always land on our feet.
SLICK CUTTY COON Yea, you do
BLACKY I ran as fast as I can over here, just in time to save yo furry behind from being squished by traffic
SLICK CUTTY COON Yea man, for sure, you saved me. But yea bro, we gotta save our brother.
BLACKY The Bum in our Alley said that Animal Control has a 48 hour policy to kill all wild animals after they’re captured.
SLICK CUTTY COON Man lets go then, we don’t have much time.
BLACKY Man, I’m scared to go back there. I don’t wanna get caught and get neutered bro. I want a family.
SLICK CUTTY COON Man, that’s our brother. We gotta help him –like when he helped you when you got stuck in the trees
BLACKY Yea bro, but I don’t know… I’m scared
SLICK CUTTY COON What you mean, you scared? We gotta help our brother. Stop being a wuss, you pussy cat
BLACKY Man I don’t care, I’m scared! Screw you!
SLICK CUTTY COON For real? You gonna let him die in there? What a brother you are!
BLACKY A real good one, I sure saved you from dying
SLICK CUTTY COON I appreciate that, but we still gotta save our brother. I can’t lose my real family just like that
BLACKY Man, I hear you but I’m scared to go back! They’re straight killers in there!
SLICK CUTTY COON Come on, man… how about we make a deal?
BLACKY What’s that deal?
SLICK CUTTY COON Remember that sexy pussy cat you met in there, and said you fell in love?
BLACKY Yea, what you saying?
SLICK CUTTY COON How about you help me free Loony, and I help you free that sexy pussycat so you can start a family with her, like you always wanted.
BLACKY What about if I get captured?
SLICK CUTTY COON Stop thinking like that! Have confidence in yourself, bro
BLACKY I know man, but I don’t know…
SLICK CUTTY COON Look man, I promise you, you won’t get captured. Believe in me, please, I beg you, please brother! (starts crying)
BLACKY Man.. you lucky, I love you both (starts to get convinced)
SLICK CUTTY COON Come on bro. Look, you gonna get a sexy pussycat, and our brother back. You gonna be able to make a family, and I’m gonna be able to be a uncle.
BLACKY Alright man, having my family back, and being able to start a new family seems nice.
SLICK CUTTY COON Yea man, come on. We don’t have much time left
BLACKY Alright bro, sure as hell gotta get my fear out of the way
SLICK CUTTY COON
Its gonna be all good bro. Be confident, we gonna succeed
BLACKY Alright, lets go bro, let’s sav it out
(Slick Cutty Coon and Blacky leave, on their way to save their brother)