A Play by Wade Washington


SLOPPY the Penny, Ms. WHISKERS the Cat, Sloppy’s imaginary friend


Sloppy’s living room, inside of his shoe house.

TIME: 12:30pm, just after lunch
AT RISE: Sloppy is pacing about and Ms. Whiskers is sitting in an armchair, looking bored

Why are you pacing? HEY! That’s really annoying, you know!

                        (Sloppy keeps pacing, oblivious of what has been said)

Are you listening?!

Huh?  Oh, sorry. Um.  Well.  Ms. Whiskers?  Well, uh…..Um, well….I uh….

Spit it out already!  I’m growing old!!
…….Will You marry me?!

No.  Anyways, what kind of question is that?  Are you stupid or something?  What would give you the idea I would marry you?

                        (She laughs extremely hard.  Sloppy runs to his bedroom, crying.)

Why?!  Why did i have to get stuck in this life?!  What did I ever do?!  Why?!  None of this is my fault!  I want to marry her!  This is about my happiness!  She’s intelligent, funny, and just great to be around!  I must confront her!

                        (Marches out his bedroom and into the living room)

Ms. Whiskers, we need to talk.

Sure. About what?

I might have thrown you off guard with my sudden outburst.  I’m sorry, but…..I love you!  I need you!  You’re funny.  You’re intelligent.  I feel better by just being around you!  You have lived with me for two years.  IMAGINE…if you hadn’t been there with me.  Imagine how lonely I would have been!  I was a lonely boy in my childhood.  My Parents were always away somewhere doing who knows what!  I know you will fill the hole of loneliness that has made its way into my heart.  This is why i asked you to marry me.  Do you understand?!

Do YOU understand?!  I am but an imaginary creature you made up!  I CAME from your loneliness… I am the manifestation of your loneliness!  Do you know how that feels?  To have your purpose in existence chosen for you?  That is a painful idea.  You may want marriage, but I want a purpose.  A purpose beyond your choice and towards my own.  I WANT TO BE FREE!  To tell you the truth, I thought I hated you!  Loathed you!  But I only hated this cage you put me in!  I’m sorry….I can’t marry you.  I know you can find a real, nice penny you can marry.  I have nothing to offer you!  But, I may have one thing to offer you…  You left your estate and money in the hands of a lawyer.  He was never real….just like me.  That money is still there in Big Ben…all ya hafta do is go and get it.

(Sloppy stares blankly for a while)

Thank goodness for the money!  I only had two dollars left!  With this money, we’ll live happily ever after…..

(He gets up and goes to Big Ben.  There, he finds the money in a vault.  The “lawyer” is there.  He smiles at Sloppy and fades from view)
I have lived many lies.  I realize now that I can’t do that.  I swear to myself that I will open my eyes and see things for what they truly are – real. 

(He goes home and finds Ms. Whiskers…gone)