MAIN HIGHWAY JUNGLE
By Kaecy
Characters:
Bella the bobcat: female, age: 4 lives, Marvin’s girlfriend
Marvin the Malicious Monkey: male, 17 bananas old, Bella’s boyfriend
Setting:
In the old, run down, mossy, muddy jungle next to the main highway; next to a banana tree with weeds and fallen leaves on the floor. The sound of wolves howling and hyenas crying. Also, random adventurers from the main highway slipping on Marvin’s banana peels. It smells like gorilla breath and fear. To Marvin, it tastes like unripe bananas and a squirrel. To Bella, it tastes like the guavas Marvin took for her. Bella’s dad’s foxhole is under the banana tree.
Time:
8:00pm in the jungle
At Rise:
Bella and Marvin are sitting under Marvin’s banana tree. Bella’s eating a sour guava. Marvin’s counting how many banana trees he owns in the jungle by carving it in the tree with a sharpened stick.
BELLA
Why would you bring me the sour ol’ yellow ol’ nasty of guava? You know I like the sweet ones!
MARVIN
Peels you ol’ ungrateful big baby bobcat. You’re so ungrateful. You know I should let you get your own guavas.
BELLA
And you know how I feel about being called a baby bobcat. If you would just let me go to the pink koala tree, I wouldn’t need to ask you for everything. I wanna be independent. I can’t get my own guavas. I can’t defend myself. I need you. There’s scary things out there. Like lions and jaguars, some rattlesnakes, hunters, and I believe there’s a rumor about yellow spotted lizards being in this jungle. One bite and they can kill anyone. And by the way, I would never get you unripe bananas.
MARVIN
(innocently) What the bananas is a ‘pink koala tree’? If I did know what it was, I still wouldn’t take you. Why you wanna be independent anyways? I wanna stay your alpha and give you everything.
BELLA
I always tell you about the pink koala tree. You would know if you listened to me.
MARVIN
(wandering off) Big ol’ house cat. What you speak of this time? You sound obsessive. Tell me one more time, I’m all ears. Like when you got in that fight that made you dull your nails and teeth and you wouldn’t stop talking about it for weeks.
BELLA
(charming, nonchalant) Okay, so, the pink koala tree. Remember, when we were sitting by my mom’s trunk, I was telling you how my little brother Jacob the Tornado did his tornado thing in THIS jungle, and he saw a little house cat scratching his nails on the tree and his nails grew 4x bigger INSTANTLY. He doesn’t remember where it was, but he knows it was in this jungle. Leave it to Jacob to forget crucial information like that. But it’s good enough for me!
MARVIN
Feline, why do you want to be independent again? You couldn’t even defend yourself when you had claws and sharp teeth. (mockingly) Remember, when we were sitting at the trunk of my banana tree, after you got your ear furs pulled on and your nails and teeth dulled? I’m glad Jacob doesn’t remember where it was. You’re safest with me. Say no more. This conversation is done.
BELLA
I already told you millions of times why I want to be independent. I wanna go out alone. Like, by myself and be able to defend myself if anything happens. I need my sharpness back. Independence means I’ll get to hunt my own food, explore the jungle, go people watching, all this fun stuff. Besides, I haven’t ate a bunny in years. And you should’ve seen that fight. I chewed her tail off. So, if you ever seen a cat with no tail, I messed kitty up. I should call you my echo. /
MARVIN
/ (interrupting; like an echo) Echo…echo…
BELLA
Conversation continues.
MARVIN
But whyyyy? Aren’t you gonna miss sleeping in with me every single day? Or when I bring you morning-guava-in-foxhole, like under the banana tree. You know, everybody would give up their claws to be a stay-in-hole cat. Besides, we go places. I think I take you out quite a lot.
BELLA
We can still do all those things. We can do so much more if you help me find this tree. I miss sun bathing.
MARVIN
(mimicking) “We can still do all those things. We can do so much more if you would help me find this tree.” You sound irritating as always. Let’s sit. We’ve had a very long day. We can moonbathe like always.
BELLA
We had a long day? Of what? We’ve done nothing all day. A long day of doing nothing at that. Let’s go find my tree. PLEASE.
MARVIN
OK, you know what stubborn butt, we have your brother coming in less than 4 hours. It’s gonna be a tornado. We need to go. If I take you to sharpen your nails and teeth, you have to help me hijack all the banana trees.
BELLA
Only if you go to Bananas Anonymous twice a week.
MARVIN
Now you asking for too much. We only agreed on getting your nails and teeth sharpened in exchange for you helping me get these banana tree.
BELLA
No, you’re asking for too much. Hijacking trees can cost me my life. I’m just trying to save yours and stop your addiction. If you don’t go to Bananas Anonymous, I don’t want to be with you anymore. You’re an addict.
MARVIN
Oh, so you want to leave me is what you’re saying? I’ll take a banana over a stubborn cat any day. You can’t even live without me.
BELLA
No, I don’t want to leave you. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is you better start going to Bananas Anonymous. You say you’ll do anything and everything for me.
MARVIN
You know what? You’re lucky I love your stubborn irritating tail self. Come on. I know where this tree is. But when you get your nails and teeth back, you can’t put your big ol’ paws on me. EVER. I’ll drag you across the jungle into a lion’s den if you do.
BELLA
(shocked) You knew where this tree was and you never took me? Let’s go. Like now. But for the record, I’m not scared of you. I can see right through your malicious self.
MARVIN
In fact, I do know where it is. But you want to give me attitude all the flippin time. You know, and since you wanna be a smart cat, we’re gonna take our precious time going to the tree. I don’t try to scare you. Hurry up. I’m giving you 2 minutes to get ready. Any second longer, we won’t go.
BELLA
(frustrated) You’re such a monkey. I hate you. Actually, hate’s a strong word. I seriously, extremely, really, really, really don’t like you. I can take as long as I want and we’ll still go. 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 4 minutes. It don’t matter because I need 5 minutes, so I’m gonna take 5 minutes.
MARVIN
You know you don’t mean that. So, hurry up. No longer than 5 minutes. You’re such a dang cat. But tell me, who’d you meet that you got to look good for? You see a cute little leopard boy? A lion? Who is it? Obviously, they mean more to you than I do. The only thing I put before you are bananas.
BELLA
Is this why you wouldn’t take me to the pink koala tree? You think I met someone else? I don’t even leave my foxhole without you. What have I told you about thinking? It’s not your strongest subject. You always overdo it. So, chill your whiskers. I want to look good for you. No one even looks at me when we go places because they’re scared of you. Let’s get to walkin.
(They walk in the scenic route and tour the jungle.)
MARVIN
It’s just so nice out tonight. Look at the stars. And that banana tree we need to come back to when we get to the pink koala tree.
BELLA
(annoyed) I swear we seen this part of the jungle like 3 times. Are you playing with me Marvin? Like seriously. I know we’ve walked here 3 times in a row. (points) Look at that sleeping owl over there. It’s the same one as the first 2 times. We need to get to the tree, and you can’t forget my family. We still need to get them so my brother doesn’t hit them.
MARVIN
I know. The third time’s the best time. I told you about that attitude. I also told you I’m gonna take my precious time. Chillax kitty, my monks are already moving your family to where we’re gonna stay for now on. (George Lopez voice) I got this!
BELLA
(laughs) You’re too much. Let’s get to the koala tree already. My paws hurt. Unless you want to carry me.
MARVIN
What’s the rush? We’re 2 miles away from our old acre. The weather weasel said that Jacob the Tornado is only gonna hit 3 acres south. We’re north. He should only have hit half our old acre. You’re too heavy for me to carry. You’re a full-grown bobcat. Let’s sit for a little.
BELLA
We can’t do that! It’s getting dark. I’m color blind. I can’t see in the dark. Why can’t we just go to the tree and go to our new acre after?
MARVIN
Bella, be quiet and look up. We’re at this dumb tree already.
(Bella looks up excitedly at a glowing gigantic pink tree.)
BELLA
(happy tears) Marvin, look! Look, look, look, look, look! (scratches nails and teeth on the tree) This is the best day EVER!
MARVIN
Yeah. Best day ever, huh. Yeah. Wonderful. Splendid. How exciting. Does this mean I won’t be your alpha anymore? I still want to support you with everything.
BELLA
You will always be my alpha. It is exciting. (nails and teeth grow 2x bigger) AHHH LOOK MARVIN IT’S WORKING! IT’S WORKING! Let’s go hijack that banana tree we seen 3 times because you wanted to take me on a long detour. You have to teach me how to get back here.
MARVIN
Oh, look who’s in a good mood now. Let’s go bananas on these little rats.
BELLA
Sure. But one quick question first. Why are you sooo obsessed with owning all the banana trees? And when we get that tree, we’re going to Bananas Anonymous.
MARVIN
My nosey little girlfriend. Since you must know, I love the feeling of power, and having control of all the banana trees give me power. You see, everyone’s already afraid of me, everyone knows me, the last thing to do is own everything I like. And sure, psh, yeah, Bananas Anonymous. At this time? It’s almost midnight. Where would there be a Bananas Anonymous session at this time?
BELLA
Actually, there’s a Bananas Anonymous at 12:30 in the morning in Bear Palms. I think that’s east of here. I’m not sure. You might know where it is.
MARVIN
Oh, yeah. I know where that is. One of my monks live over there. Someone’s been doing her research about Bananas Anonymous meetings.
BELLA
Marvin, look! Isn’t that the banana tree we seen earlier? It looks vacant! Let’s go!
MARVIN
Oh god, you sound like me. Maybe we been spending too much time together. Thank the jungle gods for the pink koala tree. Now you can leave me alone every now and then.
BELLA
Let me climb up first! Finally have my nails back!
MARVIN
Go ahead. I’ll watch out for you. It looks safe here anyways. No animals in sight.
(Yellow spotted lizards appear, jump off the tree, and bite them.)
BELLA
Marvin, I thought you said it was safe. I hope this tree was worth our lives.
MARVIN
It wasn’t.
(both Bella and Marvin slump over, dead)
THE END
