Characters: SELENA, the white bikini, one month old.
SOFT, Selena’s older sister, a white bra, one year old.
Setting: In a dresser inside Shakira’s mansion.
Time: 4:30 p.m. on April 20th, 2014
At Rise: SELENA and SOFT are hanging halfway out of the dresser, chatting about their dreams.
(whispering to SOFT)
What’s good? I hope the cat swats at your face so I can be the sexiest bikini in the game.
Keep dreaming! Shakira wants me more than you.
Alright, keep running your mouth. Talk to me when you have something nice to say.
(They hear Shakira singing “Hips Don’t Lie” in the shower. Brand new, bright-colored bikinis have appeared.)
We have a problem. We need to work together, not against each other.
True. These new bikinis are going to win Shakira over.
Shakira didn’t even look at us. She’s getting more attracted to her new bikinis!
I know. We’re going to end up getting flushed down the toilet. We should embarrass these new clothes by telling the cat to knock over Shakira’s morning coffee on them.
Yeah. Or, we can trick them into hiding under the new shirts…by telling them they are going to get flushed down the toilet by the maids tomorrow, when Shakira re-organizes all her bikinis.
(talking to the new pink bikini)
Hey, girl, you look so pretty. Too bad the maids flush the new bikinis down the toilet. They might wrinkle you, and not clean you, like when they played me. It made me smell bad for weeks.
(The pink bikini runs away crying.)
(The next day, SOFT is talking to Selena.)
So, how was the conversation with the new pink bikini?
It was alright, she will be hiding for weeks. I told her about the maids.
Alright, good deal. So, I was thinking…I should be Shakira’s favorite, since Mom always said I will be the best.
Ha ha ha! So, you’re telling me that I’m doing all this for you? Mom doesn’t even know who you are! She said that very same thing to me once, that I would be the best.
Ah, well. Too bad. Sucks to suck. I heard Shakira talking on the phone about her concert tonight. I will be going on a girls’ night tonight–I’m going with her.
You don’t even know that, but I guess we’ll see.
(SELENA is thinking of a plan to ruin SOFT’s chances to go out tonight. SELENA whispers to the cat. No one else can hear. SOFT is in the dresser, and SELENA is on the floor, getting ready to get washed.)
(talking to the cat)
Hey, if you knock over the coffee onto the top left dresser drawer where the new bikinis are, I will tell Shakira to give you more treats.
(But, SELENA is lying; she crosses her straps behind her back.)
(The cat leaps onto the dresser, knocking the coffee all over the new bikinis. Some of it stains SOFT, who then gets thrown in the garbage can.)
(After SELENA gets washed, she gets moved to the bed, and Shakira picks her to wear to the concert that night.)
(from the hamper the next morning)
I should have made a better plan to be nicer to SOFT. Now, I have no one to talk to. More importantly, I have no more family.