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THE FAST LANE By RAHEEM
9/23/2012 version 2
CHARACTERS: LAVISH LEXUS OFF THE LOT, a female Lexus – age: off the lot DOUBLE R THE ROLLS ROYCE, male Rolls Royce – age: fresh from the factory
SETTING: Side by side double parked in the METREON Parking Lot right on top of Mel’s Diner. The Sounds of the other cars driving by looking for parking. The Smell of Rubber from the rushing commuters. The look of fog from San Francisco’s silly weather.
TIME: Fall morning. 9AM.
AT RISE: DOUBLE R is listening to and singing along to music. TheRolls Royce is parked in the middle of the parking lot by by itself, singing happily…
DOUBLE R (singing) I could picture us drivin’ in the rain going eighty in a thirty lane, we pull over to the parkin’ looot, Union Square is my favorite spooot…
LEXUS pulls up slappin’: “I got six twelves, you could tell, I got six twelves, you could tell, I got six twelves, you could tell”
LEXUS Boy, what I tell you about singin’ that loud. I heard you all the way from 6th and Howard. I thought something was wrong.
DOUBLE R Haha, you got jokes, Lex, I heard that gangsta music before you past the Chronicle buildin’, you gonna get a ticket for disturbing the pace.
LEXUS Boy, stop! I miss you, Royce. Where you was at last night? Give me a kiss.
DOUBLE R (sarcastic) Uh uh baby, you need to get yo grill fix.
LEXUS Haha Royce, you always jokin’. You love me tho. Quit postponin’ my question. Where was you at last night?
DOUBLE R Damn, Lex, you always on my bumper. Quit tail gatin’ me. Where was you at last night?
LEXUS I was at the carshow wit ma sister, Audi. Quit trippin’. What about you, where you was at? My sis said she seen you double parked with Mercedes from Pac Heights.
DOUBLE R Man, that’s ludicrous. You know yo sister don’t like me.
LEXUS Why do you think my sister don’t like you? Is it because she always see you all up in Mercedes grill? I can’t put up with your conceited and cocky ways forever…
LEXUS continues to speak but her voice is now muted. DOUBLE R begins to address the audience in an ASIDE.
DOUBLE R That ain’t true, that is not true, but it is true. Look I been chillin’ with this other piece of metal, but she not just any piece of metal, she’s fabulous with big head lights and a lot of junk in her trunk, that’s not the only thing that’s attractin’ me tho. I’m in love with her personality and addicted to her presence. She understands me unlike Lexus. Because of me Lexus made it out of the pick and pull projects. Her mom was a gas guzzler and addicted to Pennzoil so I took her under my wing… LEXUS begins to snap her fingers, once, twice – ASIDE ends.
LEXUS Hello! Hello! Are you even listening to me? Royce, what happen to us? We used to be like Jay Z and Beyonce, Will Smith and Jada Pinket, Angelina and Brad… we used to do everything together. Remember, we used to ride back and forth on the Golden Gate, cruise down Lombard. I miss –
DOUBLE R Cut da crap, Lex. You always putting everything on me. You the one changed. You been ridin’ with your sister every night to all the side shows and car shows. That’s not the Lex I remember. You never wanted to hang out with yo sister. You should be able to see how she turning you against me. Oh and I heard about that head on collision you had with Ferrari… and crashin’ at his spot… and and what about…
DOUBLE R continues to speak but his voice is now muted. LEXUS begins to address the audience in an ASIDE.
LEXUS Damn, the streets always talkin’. Look, that is not true but it kinda is. It wasn’t a head on collision, it was a hit and run. Royce been actin’ like a bucket head astro lately. He need to see it from my perspective. We go way back like four flats on a Cadillac. If I loose Royce, I’m gonna be worthless. Royce understands where I’m coming from. I was raised in the project. My mom was sellin’ her parts and addicted to anti-freeze. I can’t explain to him that I gotta look out for me… because if he leave me I will be nothing… and I know he will, eventually. ASIDE ends.
DOUBLE R See, you never did listen to me, but like I was sayin’, it’s either my way or the highway, baby. The road ends now, I think we should go our separate ways – LEXUS cuts him off.
LEXUS Royce, no. DOUBLE R Don’t cut me off. You know I got road rage. Lexus, you used to be everything to me… but now you changed for the worst, you started feeling all skeptical about our relationship. When we came up and all eyes were on me. Ever since we made it to the big league you been acting so insecure about yourself, and you keep askin’ why I’m with you, that I can do better and how a Rolls Royce and a Lexus ain’t made for each other.
LEXUS You need to see it from my perspective. Lately, you been so distant. This make me feel bothered and nervous. I love you so much but sometimes when I ride by your side you make me feel so cheap. “All eyes on you.” I’m a Lexus, just a Toyota inside. You’re a Rolls Royce. You could do way better than me.
DOUBLE R You must understand, we still the same cars, just in a new environment, and I feel the same about you as I did in the projects. And the feelings should be mutual, but they’re divergent, you don’t feel the same. So maybe I should drive away. Do you want to be with me or not? LEXUS is quite for a moment.
DOUBLE R You hear me?!
LEXUS Royce, is it that serious… everything we been through. All the time we put in this, you willin’ to throw it all away and just forget it that fast…
DOUBLE R I know, Lexus, this is hard for me, too. But if I stay my dignity will be degraded. I love you with all my battery… but I don’t know, I think this is the best for both of us.
LEXUS Maybe you right Royce. If you decide to leave, just know you will always have a part in my engine.
DOUBLE R Alright, Lexus, and that feelin’ is vice versa. I just need time to get my hood right, maybe I just need a break but I’ll call yo navigator if I make my mind up, all gas no brakes.
DOUBLE R skirts off. END |
