A Play by De’Andre
| CHARACTERS: |
BEAST the LION, AGE 20 SHEBA the FEMALE LION, AGE 23
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| SETTING: |
IN THE JUNGLE IN SOUTH AFRICA . VERY HOT: 110 DEGREES. HOT WIND. BIRDS FLYING. HYENNAS LAUGHING. SKY IS BLUE. BABY CUBS FIGHTING. TALL COCONUT TREES FEEL LIKE SAND PAPER. THE HOT DEADGRASS-500 FEET WIDE, THICK LIKE PLATO. SOUNDS LIKE A CONCERT WITHOUT MUSIC.
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| TIME: |
9:00 IN THE MORNING, AUGUST 10TH
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| AT RISE: |
AT RISE: BEAST WAKES UP IN THE MORNING, JUMPS IN THE LAKE , BRUSHES HIS TEETH WITH A TREE BARK TOOTH BRUSH. WALKS BACK TO HIS WIFE AND WAKES HER UP BY SPLASHING WATER ON HER FACE.
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SHEBA
Why do you do that for?
BEAST
Do what? I didn’t do nothin’
SHEBA
You know watcha did, woke me up by splashing water on me.
BEAST
Oh I’m sorry sweetheart. Didn’t mean to wake the sleeping beauty.
SHEBA
Apology accepted. But don’t never never do that again. You messin’ up my beauty sleep.
BEAST
How much beauty sleep do you need? You’re already beautiful.
SHEBA
Yeah right, cuz if I was you’d wanna have cubs by me
BEAST
(ASIDE) Here we go again. (TO SHEBA ). Why you wanna start with that so early in the mornin’? Didn’t we just talk about this a few days ago?
SHEBA
Yes we did but you keep avoiding it. You act like you don’t wanna talk about it. You think it’s gonna stop you from bein’ king, don’t you?
BEAST
Whatever you say woman. Dang! You always naggin’ me so much. Can’t you just hold your paws and wait, cuz I don’t wanna hear my fathers mouth about havin’ kids so young.
SHEBA
Why you always carin’ about what your father thinks? He just a big ol’ grumpy ol’ lion.
BEAST
( PLAYFULL WAY ) Don’t you ever talk about my father like that woman. What the hell has gotten into you?! You woke up on the wrong side of the jungle? You need to keep your negative compliments about my father to your damn self, if you aint tryin’ to get slapped up in this jungle like Ike did Tina.
SHEBA
You dun lost your damn mind. Who in the hell you think you talkin’ to? I one aint one of these soft female lions out here. I’ll beat you down in this jungle and it doesn’t matter if I’m a female or not, cuz if you still beat me up and I don’t feel like I got any hits in, I’m gonna call JPD on yo ass: Jungle Police Department
BEAST
So you gonna send me to jail? So I can be behind those tree bars and I gotta watch out so I don’t have my lion-hood takin’ away from me by the fruity tooty lions in there and be around gorilla staff?
SHEBA
You gonna bring this all on your own. Long if you don’t touch me, we gonna be all good like 2 flats on a Cadillac.
BEAST
Well, sounds like you have a personal problem there because you see, I have a dream like Martin Luther King that I’m gonna be king someday in this jungle world. So me, you, and our future cubs will have a better life in this jungle and my son can look up to me more.
SHEBA
Sounds like you got a lot of hostility in you but I don’t care cuz I have a dream too, that I have baby cubs before my mother pass away in 3 to 4 months and she will be very delighted to see her grand cubs before she dies and that would make me very thrilled and peaceful that my mother died a happy life and she wouldn’t have to hunt me in my dreams cuz she didn’t see her baby grand cubs.
BEAST
Why you didn’t tell me your mom is about to die soon? I want her to see her grand cubs too before she pass but can’t you just wait until I think I’ll become king. I don’t know how much longer my dad is gonna be king and hand the thrown down to me.
SHEBA
See you don’t even know how long he’s gonna be king. You don’t even know if he’s gonna hand you the thrown.
BEAST
So you doubtin’ me? You doubtin’ your own husband? You suppose to be on my side here.
SHEBA
I am but I just heard some jibber-jabber that he was gonna hand the thrown to Cuba , one of the strongest lions in South Africa .
BEAST
Who in the hell told you that? He’s not stronger than me or smarter. All he is, is a ladies lion and all of them wanna get in his draws. So that’s why you probably heard it from a female lion anyway.
SHEBA
Well that’s none of your business. All you need to know is that you better watch out cuz you not the only one who’s tryin’ to be king, if you know what I mean.
BEAST
Well if you think he’s gonna be king, why don’t you go have baby cubs with that fool and be the number 10th baby momma lion?
SHEBA
I’m not no ripper lion. I don’t go around havin’ sex with a lot of male lions. But trust me if I wanted him, I woulda been havin’ that honey and you besta believe that.
BEAST
Well what ever. I’m tired of talkin’ about it. I’m tryin’ to succeed in my dream because you see, I need respect in this jungle and to keep the family tradition going, and I’m sho’ in the hell not gonna let the next god damn lion takes my fathers spot. ‘Cause if it aint me, it’s not gonna be nobody.
SHEBA
I understand where your comin’ from but I wanna succeed in my dream too. I’m tired of seein’ other families around here havin’ good times playin’ with their cubs. And I’m just sittin’ here lookin’ sad, ‘cause deep down in my heart, I need cubs right now, this instant. So I can make me, you, and my mom happy so we both can be thrilled and excited about my new family.
BEAST
I feel the same way booboo. So I just might take your dream into consideration to see how we can both have our dreams come true at this moment. So what do you think about that?
SHEBA
I think that’ll work honey bun. And I really hope you mean what you sayin’ ‘cause if I can’t have my cubs right now; I’m leavin’ and not comin’ back and maybe I would find another male lion to have my cubs.
BEAST
Is that a threat?! ‘Cause if it is, you’re not threatenin’ nobody ‘cause I’m a grown ass lion and nobody can tell me what to do. So if that’s what you gonna do then you might as well go and do it right now and get the hell outta my face.
SHEBA
Why are you talkin’ to me like this? (STARTS CRYING). I thought you loved me? But I guess you don’t ‘cause if you did you wouldn’t want me to have cubs with another lion. If you don’t care, I guess this is it then. See you around future lion king. (STARTS WALKING AWAY).
BEAST
Wait wait wait. I didn’t mean to say it all like that. I really do love you Sheba . You the love of my life, my soul mate. We like zebra and antelopes. So please don’t leave me. I don’t even care about bein’ king no more. We can go get in on right now and start our family, and if my dad has a problem with that; he can kiss my lion ass.
SHEBA
No we don’t have to. We can wait until you become king and just pray to the lion god that your father gives you the thrown tomorrow or later this week.
BEAST
You really mean that? You’re willing to just throw your dream away? Just so I can be king?
SHEBA
Yes Beast. That’s how much I love you. If my mom dies before I have cubs, she will be in lion heavin’ watchin’ over us and bein’ our guardian lion.
BEAST
Well let’s just start makin’ kids right now and if you become pregnant before I do be king, just try to hide it and I’ll try to get my dad to give me the thrown as soon as I find out you’re pregnant. Deal?
SHEBA
Yes. Deal
BEAST
Alright Sheba . Let’s go try out our new tree bark bed.
(BEAST AND SHEBA WALK OFF TAIL AND TAIL)
THE END
