The Real


 by young writer Mikaila




Real, the pineapple:   age 17, looking a little on the rotten side, stem starting to grow hairy mold.


Saucy, the strawberry:  age 18, looking like she’s never been touched:  seeds all in the right place, color not faded stem greener than ever, fresh as can be.



in an out of place garbage bin:  split in two.  one half is on the good side: trashed still rapped in the tin foil, food smelling fresh off the grill.  The other side is gross and stinky, the smell of rotten food and fruits.


At rise:


Saucy the strawberry is in the garbage bin, with other fruits. 





After such a crazy night last night, with those crazy pineapples I dont’ know what’s goin on.  I rolled over to ‘Real the pineapples’ sack .  She wasn’t there, rolled over to mango jacqui’s spot, she hasn’t seen her—where’s Real? 

There’s only one place (moment of silence) the rotten SIDE!   I’m rolling rolling fast as I can, oh no I hope she’s safe, not getting rotten to death.  She needs fresh air.  She’s not used to being in there, the rotten side of the garbage bin.  I don’t want anything to happen to my heartbreak kid.

After all that rollin im tired.  

(sees her side.)

A couple of my seeds fell off, bent my stem but that’s ok. that can be fixed.

I looked for her.  Thank god the grapes said she got scared and waddled this way.  Ah ha, bingo! there she is.  I hope she doesn’t catch an attitude and say some crud about me, be rude or something.  

(practicing)  well, excuse me, he’s not the only tangerine in the garbage, specially not the brightest!  Off the back I had a feeling I didn’t like him.  He’s too dirty to move, too  good to be true, this tyberius the tangerine.

(Real enters, waddling slowly)

Pineapple where have you been?  I spent 20 kiwis looking for you!


(irratated) Saucy girl, why you tumbling down the banana for.  I know you wasn’t looking that long cus you found me.


What are you doing over here anyways?  Ugh this place is hecka nasty!


girl, boom!  Don’t you see i’m choppin it up with my new tangerine boo.  We made it fruiticial (rhymes with official)10 lemons ago.


i’m not worried about that stanky tangerine.  His peach fuzz even rotten..gross. 

(disgusting look)


It was bouncin’ last night, fo’ sho’ fo’ sho’, doh, cuz girl I lost my juice proof wig, and i’m still dizzy from this fruit hangover and I hear a sister holla juicy.

Stem!, i’m surprised I snatch dis–he keeps it juicy, girl. 

(in love)  look at his flavored watch, his peach fuzz teeth, ooh girl i’m juiced!


ok and I seen about 10 brotha fruits flashing the same stemmy watch at Splashy Discount 2 pears ago.  Ha-ha.



See that’s why I decided to stay on the rotten side.  Every time I got something good goin, yo dusty stem wanna juice down my excitement.  Thats why im staying with ty the tangerine and rot.  He said i’ll still stay the same and be more flawless.  Im about a pop a blueberry and be on my mango hype.  Say no mo.


how can you say something like that.  Ive been here through everything.  When yo juice wig was dry, I threw extra peaches, berries and grease on that biznatch.  Not ty-the-broke-as(stem)-tangerine-he-cant-even-afford-a-grapefruit-line-up.


Well ty said if you were a true friend you’ll take in consideration of my opinion and agree with them like a sweet strawberry should.  He said you aint nutting but sorry, hunny.  Take that to the blender and press start.


you know what Real, I didn’t roll over here to argue with you.  I just wanna help.  Your already growing mold at the bottom of your pineapple—look.

(Saucy points)


oh yeah well I like it.  We’re gonna have 10 mixed fruit babys w/ good hair.  Biznatch, you just mad.


well you either do that, which is: stay and be here with ty-my-shoe-lace-around-my-face-cus-im-too-ugly-the-tangerine.

(extra attitude)

or come with me and live the life I know you want to, Real.  Remember our phrase?  We keeps it real at all times, cuz we we squeeze them hard vinez?


yeah, I remember that.  I was barely in 4th grade with the other fruits.  We was fo’sho’ly keepin’ it real: all fresh fruits go to heaven.


see that’s the Real I remember.  I just don’t wanna lose my bestfriend/sister.  You’re the only one I have.  I hate that biznatch!


Well….i guess I could find my way back to the pineapple juice, still have you as my best friend, AND ty as a boyfriend.  Let me go talk to him.

(Real waddles and leaves.  Off stage sound of fighting)


I wonder if everything’s ok?  All I hear is yelling!

(Real comes back.)

Holy stem, pineapple, what happened to your face, my-juice-sista-from-anotha-motha-

                                      Real and Saucy

‘ooh, chile, shut yo mouth!’


I just told him I was leaving but I still want a relationship.  He pecked at me on my juicy lips, and gave me a smoothie with extra berries and went off!

I couldn’t catch on, he was slurrin…..but ty picked up an old milk carton and beat my stem!


Oh no he didn’t.


what are you doing Saucy?


what it look like.  Im taking off my wig, and taking off my fruity pearls—im bouta whoop his stem.  Lemme at em.  Lemme at em!


(screams) no

(yells) don’t

(cries) do

(shakes) it!


Im gonna get attacked again.  No we have to leave. 

(they start to leave.)

Thanks for having my back.  Now I could look back at this and say boy he wasn’t ‘stem’.  Another one of my bad mistakes.


girl, don’t trip.  I got you.  I always will.  What are friends for.  uggg.  Lets go get you a juicy wet towel for that face.

(Real the pineapple and Saucy the Strawberry waddle and roll off stage hand and hand.)